Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Scalarious

So I invented a new word fairly recently, and I still enjoy it, even after the novelty has worn off. "Scalarious" derives from "scary" and "hilarious" - for something to be scalarious, it would be funny and frightening at the same time. I'm pretty open to interpretation on this one, but I can think of several examples off the cuff of what I constitute to be "scalarious."
-Rob Corddry in Childrens Hospital.
-The McPoyles from It's Alway Sunny In Philadelphia. (This clip barely scratches the surface.)
-Most moments from Ren & Stimpy.
-Just about anything from Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!

ADDITIONAL SCALARITY:
-All Glory To The Hypnotoad...

Accepting all submissions...

2. Futurama (A Stern Warning Of Things To Come)


”You watched it! You can’t unwatch it!”
-An unseen narrator;
“Anthology Of Interest II (Season 3, Episode 18)

Run time: March 28, 1999 – August 10, 2003 / March 23, 2008 – present
Created by: Matt Groening
Broadcast via: Fox / Adult Swim / Comedy Central


You might think it bold of me to go straight from what is arguably the most respected and influential drama in cinematic history to a cartoon about the misadventures of a space delivery crew in the thirty-first century. But when it comes to quality, one can’t be too dismissive. And if I may cut right down to it, The Simpsons was one of the best shows of the 1990s, hands down, regardless of genre or style. We can dismiss with the notion that animated shows are inferior to live action; they’re not better either – just different.

Some artists work better in the cartoon medium. Matt Groening is living proof of this. His aforementioned Simpsons is possibly the most profitable cartoon ever, and at 22 seasons so far, still shows no signs of stopping. But his cartooning applies beyond this, most notably to his weekly comic strip Life In Hell. But towards the end of the ‘90s, Groening started applying his sarcastic sense of humor towards his reverence of the science fiction shorts and serials of his youth. Along with David X. Cohen, he envisioned a future world of fantastic design but social verisimilitude. The future, according to most fiction, is either full of possibilities or peril. It always seems to be either idyllic or dystopian, usually to prove some point about some garbage like the human condition or something. Which makes it refreshing to have access to a vision of the future that skewers life then as it does now. Futurama is a show that sticks it to us silly humans in the present by showing us how ridiculous things will be in the future. The fact that it’s an animated sitcom makes it all the better. How else could you have robots and aliens coexisting as “Earthicans” in New New York City, circa 3000?






The hook of Futurama is pretty simple, practically standard for “lost in time” fare: On New Year’s Eve 1999, New York native Philip J. Fry (he’s most commonly referred to by his surname) is a pizza delivery boy (in his mid-twenties) who is pretty lousy at life in general. While delivering a pizza to an “I.C. Weiner” he stumbles upon a cryogenics lab and, in a way that could only happen in cartoons, ends up stumbling into a freezing chamber and waking up a thousand years later in 3000. It is a world he does not understand but embraces more than the one from his own time. And thanks to him, we are given not only the most stupid character this side of Homer J. Simpson, but an entry into a pretty dense and intricate retrofuture fantasy world that seems not-too-far removed from our present day-to-day reality’s facts and foibles.

I hope I’m not making Futurama sound like some slice-of-life comedy. It’s definitely not like that. But it’s no standard sitcom, either. Fry becomes roommates with a robot that has to drink in order to remain powered and efficient, and tried to off itself in a suicide booth when it discovered what it’s purpose was (helping to construct parts for a suicide booth). Fry becomes employed by his great14-uncle’s interplanetary deliver company (Planet Express), thus still maintaining “delivery guy/slacker” status as he encounters strange new creatures and worlds every episode. He even falls in love with a cycloptic mutant who doesn’t let a lack of depth perception stop her from piloting the spaceship.

Yes, The Simpsons came first, and there’s Family Guy and South Park and many fine Adult Swim shows to get your ‘toon on, but Futurama bests them all in every category. Of course, this is strictly subjective, but for my money’s worth, Futurama is the best-looking, best-written and best-voiced animated series being offered to audiences. The gorgeous and seamless blend of hand-drawn cell animation and computer generated imagery works perfectly, as exciting action sequences are pulled off with just as much finesse as the gags. The writing staff consists of many PhD-certified math nerds (who also happen to dig Beck and Beastie Boys), which works to the show’s advantage. They put the science into science fiction, from significant plot elements to tiny background jokes (one of my favorites is Studio 122133). While not a hyper-comedy, just about every verbal or visual beat is laced with humor. Jokes are everywhere, and the cast is vivid: there are over 200 speaking roles in the show, humans and robots and aliens and mutants and more all coexisting in a universe where assimilation means the same tedium and chaos that exists on Earth today.

Perhaps not-so-surprisingly, this show was not immediately embraced. Oh sure, it found plenty of fanboys (and girls) from the beginning, but it never reached the levels of those other animated shows that were setting the new standards of the time. But this supposed weakness turned out to be Futurama’s biggest strength: There is something very classic in its storytelling. The freshness comes from the jokes and characters, but the storytelling (while always remaining enjoyable and engaging) is fairly typical. Which gives it a timeless feel, despite being so topical yet futuristic. Fox famously fucked with the Futurama crew during their run (throughout the ’99 to ’04 stretch, by scheduling the show irregularly and never putting much effort into promotion), but when they finally pulled the plug on production, something amazing happened. Futurama didn’t stop. Oh, sure, the staff had disbanded and new scripts were not being written. But Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim brigade had picked up the show, and was airing it regularly on their late night programming. As DVD sales remained steady and Adult Swim kept airing the still-funny reruns, Futurama became cult classic. And then, nearly five years after it had been cancelled, it was reborn. In the form of four feature-length movies (the equivalent of sixteen episodes), Futurama was brought back to life, with the entire voice cast returning to their beloved roles.  After the success of the direct-to-DVD films, Comedy Central picked up a new season of 26 episodes. The show returned to pretty impressive numbers (much more so for being on cable station Comedy Central instead of basic network Fox) and much critical and fan adoration.

While it’s future is certainly not set, it remains in top form. And the success of this new season means that Futurama will continue to remain the best cartoon of this new millennium for some time. Long may the hilarity continue.

OPENING & END CREDITS SCORE: 7/8
An upbeat number that displays the many colorful characters, buildings, and avenues of New New York City, complete with an opening title gag (this article's subtitle comes from the caption for season two's "The Deep South") and a short clip from a classic (and often unrecognizable) cartoon. Short, sweet and to the point.

BEST CHARACTER: BENDER (voiced by John DiMaggio)
The laws of contradictions hold no weight for Bender Bending Rodriguez, a robot hailing from “America’s heartland” (Mexico) who drinks, smoke, womanizes and steals without a second thought. Exposure to magnets turns his into a folk-singing loon. He has given birth to beer, enslaved an entire planet, and committed more felonies than every character on The Sopranos, or another other show about criminals for that matter. Of all the crazy characters we encounter throughout the universe, few are able to shake things up any more than this natural-made troublemaker.

BEST SEASON: 6 (of 6, for now)
Not just for being the newest, freshest and most exciting, the newest season is the best because (similar to the rebirth of Family Guy) it brought back an energized cast and crew ready to top themselves. Though we’re only halfway through it right now (new episodes start airing sometime soon next year), each episode has been a winner, exploring and further parodying science fiction themes, concepts and conventions for a more accepting and capable audience.


BEST EPISODE: “Jurassic Bark” (Season 4, Episode 7)
Though “Roswell That Ends Well” won Futurama its first Emmy during the third season (and it was a swinging good time-travel romp), “Jurassic Bark” is a very funny episode about a boy and his dog that also plays with storytelling conventions by giving us a split timeline between the 3000 timeline and Fry’s original twentieth century timeframe. The juxtaposing scenes culminate in one of the most touching and heartfelt moments of any series, let alone a silly cartoon featuring a walking Jewish space lobster.

BEST MOMENT: The ending of “The Sting” (“The Sting,” Season 4, Episode 12)
Fry gets stung by crazy space bees, putting him into a coma that sends Leela reeling into a guilty stupor, unhinging her sanity scene by scene. It’s not until the very end that we realize what emotional, sweet, dizzying and funny turns Futurama is capable of. One of the craziest and most satisfying resolutions in a show known for some pretty good endings.


SPECIAL CATEGORY
BEST “SCARY DOOR”: "The Most Evil Creature Of Them All!"
Not only does Futurama spoof sci fi, but it also loves to poke fun of The Twilight Zone with its 30-second mini-comic "Scary Door" shows. There have been many great ones throughout Futurama’s run(s), but this one – so over-the-top and yet so dry at the same time – is my personal favorite. Since I can't find a YouTube clip, I'll post the transcript from The Infospehere, a Futurama Wiki that seems to have it down:
[Opening credits.]
ANNOUNCER: You're on a scenic route through a state recreational area known as the human mind. You ask a passerby for directions, only to find he has no face or something. Suddenly up ahead, a door in the road. You swerve, narrowly avoiding The Scary Door.
[SCENE: A scientist is in a Frankensteinesque laboratory mixing chemicals in a beaker.]
SCIENTIST: I have combined the DNA of the world's most evil animals to make the most evil creature of them all.
[A pod reminiscent of the ones from the movie "The Fly" opens with a cloud of steam. It clears, revealing a naked human male.]
NAKED MAN: It turns out it's man.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Coming Full So Circle, One Circle At A Time (An Article I Wrote For The Band So Many Roads)



Many musicians dream of getting to open up for their favorite bands, but how often do they actually get to do it? Especially for those who are still establishing themselves, as opposed to signed touring artists who happen to be able to tag along with another band, the dream must seem beyond reach.

Anthony Brady no longer has to wonder. He’s been making music for the last decade or so, but only in the last few years has he really been getting people outside his circle of friends and passerby to take notice. He has formed or been a part of various bands throughout the ten-years-strong run, but has yet to break it into the big leagues. Or even maintain a band long enough to get it all down on record. To his own chagrin, he has yet to cut a proper album, despite the fact that he has over 30 songs to his credit (though most of his lyrics have been co-written with friends and fellow musicians).

Since getting started, Brady has had many progressions of style and changes in influence. It’s only natural for anyone over a ten-year stretch. But one constant to his journey has been a power trio based out of his same adopted town.

Floater is a band that formed in Eugene, OR in the early 1990s. Trying to describe them in one sentence is like trying to talk about Jonathan Demme films in one sentence: fucking impossible. They err to the heavy side (though they have embraced their softer tendencies more and more as they play on); they are wont to jam out (live shows see three minute songs stretch to double digits); and they’ve produced eight studio albums (and three live albums) to serious fan acclaim, mixed critical reviews and limited commercial success. Their most widely known song outside of the Pacific NW is undoubtedly “The Sad Ballad Of Danny Boy,” a three-minute funk-ish metal frenzy that samples Jack Nicholson from The Shining and was released on their sophomore album Glyph in 1995. Some time after releasing their third album, they moved to Portland and called it home, touring throughout the country (but mainly the West Coast and neighboring states) or playing a string of local shows in between releasing albums every couple of years. They may not be megastars, but Floater is the type of band that gives it their all (or drunken best nonetheless) every show they give. Many fans have called their concerts a religious experience, due to their adroit musicianship and powerful presence.

It’s no wonder that when Anthony first moved to Portland and heard about them he became instantly smitten. What budding musician wouldn’t be enchanted with the do-it-yourself ethos embraced by such a staggering seeming local band? Though it would not be right to call him a rip-off artist, an acquainted ear could certainly hear Floater’s influence over Anthony Brady. He doesn’t mind a little rocking out with his rock, whether it be through big speakers or a well-tuned acoustic. His songs aren’t afraid to take ventures; many of them end in very different places from where they started. But such influence can be a good thing.

Brady’s had many musical influences throughout the years. Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Incubus, Thrice, God Is An Astronaut; these are all listed plainly to me when I asked him who his influences are, and they sound correct. He listens to a lot of Greg Dulli songs (he prefers The Twilight Singers to The Afghan Whigs), and thinks that Buckethead is one of the best guitar players around (he certainly may be the most diligent one, averaging at a new album or project every month). But the one that has stayed the most powerful has been the one that he has physically and consistently been closest to. Despite all efforts to the contrary, Brady was never quite able to procure an opening slot for a Floater show.

After so many years spent trying to make a go of it in Portland, Anthony decided to find inspiration elsewhere. So he relocated to Spokane and formed a new band. They are called So Many Roads. In less than a year, they have emerged as one of the city’s more original, surprisingly tight and versatile bands. They won an audience vote for the Spokane’s Got Talent finals after they played a five-minute song called “Dream” (they played it electric and heavy), and have been interviewed for the Local Lounge 103.1 KCDA* (where they also performed acoustically), as well as 94.5 KHTQ.**

So Many Roads admits to being a Craiglist band, finding each other through the advertising in this millennium much like musicians used to post fliers at the local record store. They formed when Anthony met Shawn Morlock, a drummer, and they started jamming together. Soon after they found Ryan Jordan, who plays bass. Daniel Hall rounded out the band to a solid foursome when he brought his guitar shredding skills to the group. These guys are all clearly talented, if cut from different cloth. The few recordings that have surfaced show a lot of promise, as they work on writing and recording an EP together for the near future.

The band may be still developing, but their songwriting has already reached a level of cohesiveness that is flattering to even well-seasoned composers. Not only have they re-arranged many of Brady’s previous material – my favorite being taking his reggae-ready tune “Yesterday’s Door” and really metalling the hell out of it – but they have composed several of their own songs with him that hardly sound like first-time attempts. The band’s rhythm section certainly bears resemblance to some of the more notable metal acts of the last decade (I’m particularly reminded of Opeth and Sevendust), but when I asked them for influences, I was happy to hear them include not only bands such as Pain Of Salvation and Porcupine Tree but also heavyweights like Tool and Alice In Chains. All these different subsets of metal might seem indistinguishable to some, but it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that, despite loving so much rock music already being made, So Many Roads doesn’t sound like another knockoff band. Their songwriting does not veer towards the straight-ahead pop-verse-chorus-verse tendencies that so many radio bands seem to embrace. Instead, So Many Roads rely on staples such as interesting chord progressions, silences within the spaces of music, and taking both the ear and the mind to different places. Which is not to say that they’re out to challenge everyone into putting up with listening to them; far from it. So Many Roads, simply put, just wants to rock.

Brady knew what he had to do when he found out that Floater was playing an acoustic show at the Empyrean, a local club that magically blends pub, coffee house and café to warm and inviting effect. He knew that So Many Roads had to open. It was time. If he couldn’t achieve it will they lived together in Portland, perhaps it was fate that it would have to happen here, of all places.

So Many Roads did indeed open for Floater, and in doing so they put on a hell of a show. They were thoroughly engaging, playing for a small but animated crowd of more than fifty music lovers who were swaying to the grooves laid down by the stripped-down quartet. They were a perfect warm-up act for the acoustic version of Floater (who also like to switch it up between electric and acoustic performances), and duly complemented by their drummer Pete himself after the show.

To hear any “heavy” song stripped down to an acoustic presentation is an experiment in transposing. Can the absence of distortion create a new sense of depth, and can the songwriting’s melody sustain itself without an electric guitar’s (ahem) power? In the case of So Many Roads, the transition works. Their eight-song set is steady rockin’ thru and thru. Some songs show promise of becoming singles for any future EPs (or, hopefully, albums), while others cross less traditional territory. “Collapsing In The Snow” has a nice 4/4 beat and plenty of vocal accompaniment from Daniel, creating a harmonious vibe that is in stark contrast to “Cabaret,” a slow and almost murky song where the narrative takes us through some dark and dirty places most radio is afraid to touch. They also included a mildly psychedelic instrumental number (called “Those Estacada Nights”) and a Depeche Mode cover (“Enjoy The Silence”). If you didn’t know that Brady was a big Deftones fan, you might find the choice of cover odd. But damn if the band didn’t pull it off, laying down a nice smooth acoustic ride into post-grunge musicality, evoking the same feeling Martin Gore got from a synthesizer decades ago. They played with precision and a lot of emphasis on groove, which worked well for the acoustic arrangements. (It should be noted that while the guitar players traded their electric guitars for acoustic ones, Ryan kept his bass plugged in, and Shawn brought his same drum kit, using balsa wood sticks and a keen sense of rhythmic temperament.)

So Many Roads could mean many things. It’s one of those kinds of band names. Yes, it could signify that these seasoned sound makers have all seen some shit in their days and know about the long and winding facts of life. It could also suggest a world full of possibilities for exploration and discovery. For a band coming together so quick, maybe both ring true. They are exciting to hear, a solution to the problem of what is wrong with so much on rock radio. And hopefully there are good things in their future. You’ve been warned.


CHECK OUT MORE:
So Many Roads Facebook page
Floater's Website

1. The Sopranos (Made In America)

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An Introduction to The Best Televised Fiction of the New Millennium (So Far...)

There used to be a time when it when pretty easy to get away with saying, "TV sucks." That time was the 1990s, and any decade before, but pretty much since the turn of the century, television has been proving to be a predominant medium for engaging cinema. These days, audiences and producers alike seem to be willing to give television more credit. By giving the craft, feel and value of movie producing an additional blessing of continuous storytelling, cinema's scope has widened to allow for larger casts and crews to focus on a form of narrative fiction as powerful as the best novels, movies or songs. Television has become perhaps the best and most resonant form of artistic entertainment in this day and age.


Seasons have replaced novels, and TV shows can now becomes better than the best book series, while retaining the cinematic sensibilities that make movies so mind-blowing. And since premium networks have removed shows from the rigorous standards of FCC regulations, the format has opened to allow for highly realistic (or fantastical) portrayals of dramatic or comedic ideas, regardless of riskiness of content. Thanks to their episodic nature, these ongoing shows can deliver truly deep characters and rewardingly rich story lines and rival the imagination in delivering a whole new world.


Of course, with the emergence of higher quality television, there has also been a rise of "trash TV" that has polluted airwaves as much as some shows are savings them.  I suppose this is all proof of balance in the universe, but it is odd to me how much garbage is gaining popularity everyday. Funny enough, a large percentage of this horrible programming falls under the banner of "reality" TV, a sort of antithesis of the type of shows I hope to highlight, that relies on stock situations under the pretense of "catching it all on camera" (yet still pays  a staff of writers).


As much as I love to play the critic, I tend to focus on the positive over the negative. Mostly, this is because I do not see the point in letting everyone else know what I see is lacking in a subjective artform. I figure it must just be me. But I will sing the praises of what I find to be enhancing our time on this earth. So in loving tribute to the shows that have gotten this cinema junkie hooked time and time again to such great heights, I present an ongoing list covering the crème de la crème of high quality fictional television series.


The entries contained within are written in no specific order. I am not about to try to rank these shows for myriad reasons; suffice it to say that just because one show is listed before another does not necessarily mean that it's the better show. It's merely the order I choose to go. I hope you enjoy.